Navigating friendships is in the same WhatsApp group as being an Arsenal fan; you feel like blowing your brains out often. There’s a level of friendship, especially for the long-term kind, where boundaries are swept out the door faster than rats being chased by the screams of the occupants. It’s not an easy road — being friends. You’re constantly second-guessing things like whether to tell your mate that you saw their girl being too friendly and spicy at a lavish club in Milan. Knowing Ken, he might even miss the crucial part of the conversation and strangle you like a mad man trying to make you belch out why he wasn’t invited in the first place. Bruh! Get back to your senses, your girl was all smoochy with someone else! Before my eyes pop out and make a run for it, let the sad news sink in.
We tell ourselves it’s Kanairo; ‘yule anakupea, pia ananipea, akikuleta, ananiletea’. That’s true. Until it hits close home and you become a drunk stupor from sunrise to sunset with no idea of the date or time. Being your friend, I’ll navigate the journey.
Haaa! Friends, wingmen, bro codes! I read once that the late Bob Collymore was part of a gentleman’s squad. A group, he could call more (no pun intended) often than his loved ones I imagine, and the stoic men oozing out testosterone-fueled with urging sensations to burn their pockets would hit boujee joints. Mind you with Italian suits caressing their dad-bodes and designer watches to remind them of reality. Probably getting a text invitation for a fancy dinner over the weekend in Paris (with the acute French accent) would have them pacing up and down their high ceiling home.
It wouldn’t be the flight, the visa for the flight, or the money for the flight that would be scorching their minds. Rather, whether their Italian tailor could come up with a fitting in such a tight deadline. Could their most trusted pilot forgo their wedding to get them to the city of light and love? Maybe they could accelerate it and get an all-paid trip as newlyweds to France. When you’re rich you give out incentives like handouts in church; every Sunday is tithe giving day. These are high tables, folks don’t visit looking tame like diplomats from any other state. They have to stand out. After all, they’ve had enough of Jeff boasting about his latest custom-made E-Class Benz — maroon in color with leather branded seats welcoming their ass with his logo and having a smooth sailing with every gear change.
Friends! Where do you lie? Are you in a Bob kinda squad or a side piece for drinking beers? It’s carved out in stone yet we never really talk about it. We are all categorized in certain spaces within our networks. When you sit down to catch up with your bros’ or hommies, what conversations do you guys have? Are you working together as a group knowing when 40 beckons, financially and emotionally you’ll be fine? The kind of comfy feeling that whatever happens to you, your friends will be there to take care of your family. Or are you the ‘friend’ for going out to parties and seeing each other at the next?