It’s a lie. A blatant one. It’s like telling me a dog is a horse. I wish I understood the dynamics of it earlier on in life. But as always, the universe played its roulette game and decided like money, slow growth works out in the end. When I was young, dad always said, work hard and be like your uncle John who works at the airport. You’d think John was a pilot! Deep in me, where my subconscious resides, I always detested all the comparisons. If it wasn’t unko, it was Muriuki, his long-lost friend who recently closed a deal with L’Oreal — the entrepreneur dad desired to be.
I just wanted to be me. Me, Musee! Me, the boy who loved locking himself in his room thinking of silly, adventurous ideas. His pen and his book united inking stories about horses, trips, or the girls he had a crush on. It was addictive and mesmerizing like the good kind of weed that shows your dreams and goals in 3D. I didn’t want to be compared to anyone.
But it’s a lie, isn’t it? The comparisons lurk in the shadows beckoning the doubts little by little. You see your friends excelling; living their best lives. Others in love, with a long overdone honeymoon phase; it justifies their bond. You place yourself in their shoes and imagine your smirk smile and I-made-it swag. How good you’d look!
So, yes. It’s a lie, you have to compare yourself.
The world always sets a ceiling. One that needs to be leaped for. And with each step, it increases its height. Some days it’s tough. You feel winded, a zombie strutting in the street brain-dead and with nowhere to go. Days you feel as if everything you’re doing is wrong. Your career, hardly any, seems to be dwindling in deep waters with no sailor to steer its boat. But you continue trying. Continue working because you can only do your best. You grind and work your body to its bones. Becauseat it can never be enough. It can never be comfortable. Life is too short to live.
So, yes Eddy is doing great. What can you do to get there and be better? It’s the price you’re willing to pay. You need to wire yourself to success and forge it in, curve by curve until it can’t ignore you. Stop watching the clock, just do what it’s doing. Keep going!!!
